Throughout my refinement process, I’ve come to realize that owning stuff can be an incredible nuisance. The stuff we own often serves as a placeholder to portray a life we want others to think we have. You see, I can tell you this with certainty, because I am a former things girl.
Here are 5 confessions accompanied with truths from today on lessons I’ve learned.
Confession #1: In my 20s, I purchased things on credit to fill my need to keep up with the Joneses. I carried a balance on my credit card(s). I thought this was the norm and “ok” because it seemed this is what everyone did to gain possessions. I mean, it’s perfectly normal to furnish an entire home on credit and pay WAY more in interest than the furniture is really worth. Yes?
TRUTH: In my late 30s, I now pay my ONE credit card balance in full each month and keepin’ up with the Joneses is the furthest thing from my mind. If I’m content and comfortable in my own skin, that’s all that matters.
Confession #2: In high school and college, I rarely wore the same outfit twice. I hung up almost every piece of clothing I owned to make my closet appear dense so my friends would think I had a ton of clothes.
TRUTH: Today, I mostly wear the same outfits week to week. In fact, I recently gave up purchasing clothes for one entire year (going on 14 months as of the writing of this post). Less clothes to maintain equals less choices to make and that makes me VERY happy. I mean, have you noticed Mark Zuckerberg and the late Steve Jobs have on the SAME THING nearly every time we see them?
Confession #3: When I was married and lived in Salt Lake City, we purchased the house of our dreams. It came with an expansive view of the Great Salt Lake, and was nestled near the mountains. It also came with a GIGANTIC mortgage. In my early 30s, I was a proud owner of a house MUCH too big for two people with no children, but it sure looked good on Facebook and to everyone else watching us “chase our dreams.” *sigh*
TRUTH: I now own a simple home in a safe neighborhood. There are no bells and whistles, and my mortgage is low. A low mortgage and monthly payment equals more disposable income for travel and experiences, saving, missions and to give away. (And more income to put back into the mortgage to pay it off quickly!) Just because you get approved for a gigantic mortgage doesn’t mean you should move forward with a purchase.
Confession #4: In my 20s, I put up 3-4 Christmas trees every year! I’m sure most of the decorations were purchased on credit. Plus think of the time involved in putting them up! I could have spent time on other things more life giving and love “welling!” AND, more decorations means more storage space needed which equals a larger house and mortgage. (See the pattern here?!?)
TRUTH: This is a hard one to admit…I haven’t put up a Christmas tree since 2009. ‘tis true…call me a grinch. December is typically a busy travel month for me and I’m rarely home. So I’ve mostly just enjoyed my family members’ trees as opposed to putting up a tree I’ll never be home to enjoy. I do have one tree I’ll put up when the time is opportune and I find myself home during the month of December. I suppose the rest of the trees and decorations were sold at a garage sale or donated somewhere along the way.
Confession #5: Before I was 30 years old, we had purchased not one but TWO boats. Both on credit. *rolls eyes* Probably used each boat 10 times or less. But, hey, I could tell everyone I OWNED A BOAT!
TRUTH: For me, these boats were a HUMONGOUS waste of money! We barely used them! Wish I would have saved the money and rented a boat rather than sinking thousands of dollars into something used 2-3x per year.
I can honestly say as I push 40, I am definitely no longer a things girl. And THANKFULLY the good Lord provided income to pay off ALL THAT DEBT racked up while accumulating ALL THE THINGS. I don’t believe He ever intends for us to live bound to creditors. The freedom from things and debt is something I truly hope you can experience too. (And if you are currently a things girl or guy, I love you the same! For me, less things make my life MUCH easier!)
So please…no things for me. Give me health, happiness, experiences and wisdom. This former things girl is signing off…
(Check out two of my favorite blogs on living free from things and debt: Mr. Money Mustache and Frugalwoods. And here is an excellent resource to help you downsize and live simply: Simplify by Joshua Becker.)
Above image credit: s myers via Visualhunt / CC BY-NC-ND
I’m embarrassed and ashamed of my actions as a former things girl, but have learned so much and have come such a long way. What about you? Any things related confessions you’d care to share? Post away in the comment section below.
Sara, I enjoy reading your Simply Sara post. They are very inspiring. The idea of less is more, is so freeing. You are an example of how God is wanting us to live, give and love. I have always admired your kindness and I appreciated you so much when you worked in ESD. Thanks friend!
Laura Cherry
Thank you SO much Laura!!!! Your kind words are MUCH appreciated! I’m so glad our paths crossed and we are still connected today! <3
Hi Sara- this is a wonderful message to promote simplicity and a life of freedom. The accumulation of possessions seems to lead, in nearly all cases, to a feeling of emptiness…both in the wallet and the soul. Your message is more important now than ever with social media being entrenched in every minute of the younger (and older) generation’s day. They (we) suffer a constant barrage of “look at what I have, look how happy I am”. It’s a non-stop promotion of “things”. Your message is powerful, relevant and promotes something everyone should ask themselves before purchasing “things” (including me) “do I want this or do I need this?” Your experience in life is nearly identical to mine. Thank you for this message! The Lord has truly blessed you and shown you His way.
Thank you so much, Eric!
I consider myself a things girl but thankfully I could only relate to one of them… the Christmas decorations. Guilty. I don’t always put up a tree because it’s just me but my mom puts up four so I’ll have to be careful of that going forward. 🙂
Katie Axelson recently posted…A Love Letter From the Father
Haha! I love this!! And seriously…I think you are FAR from a things girl! I mean, you traveled the world for 11 months with only a backpack! I’m not sure I could even do that. 🙂 You continue to amaze me! <3
Love your freedom of things….I have mostly been single up to 40 so had to depend on my teacher income…however my Dad taught me to budget and prioritize. …my priority was always my quality of shelter…so I spent more there and did less everywhere else. Don’t know if that helps anyone trying to live within your means but I was taught by the best!
Love your journey Sara…inspires us all to examine our selves…God’said got it anyway you turn….have faith smile and feel the love and joy!!!
You are such a blessing to me Netha! Thank you so much for sharing! <3 Love you!
Sara, at such a young age, you are an inspiration to us all.
WOW! Thank you so much Deborah! Sometimes I don’t feel very young, lol. 🙂 I’m just soaking in the days and learning as much as I can as I go along. <3
A very insightful read, thank you Simply Sarah! I know all about the living to empress and charging on credit cards what we truly cannot afford. I learned to be frugal growing up and I truly love living simple and not buying what you do not need. I so want to be back there, and de clutter my life of things and debt, I just have to get my other half on board. It truly is more stress free and enjoyable to live a simple life without so many unnecessary things or trying to keep up with or impress others.
I agree with you totally, Aline! 🙂
Yes I love this! Get rid of the stuff you don’t want to impress all the people you don’t like. I LOVE getting rid of stuff. It’s such a burden and frankly you don’t need that much stuff to live a healthy, happy prosperous life. Congrats on not buying clothes for 14 months! I will admit – I love buying new clothes. But I also find the best bargains and frequently give away old clothes. In fact in 2014 I gave away over half my closet when I was moving states and it felt really good.
I love this Cynthia!!!! We are so much alike. My favorite thing to do is to clear out clutter. I love to donate things and/or recycle or throw out. It makes for a much simpler environment and lifestyle!
Hi. Sara, I’d like to say that I love reading your posts and sometimes I even identify with things you write, you’re awesome. Thanks for sharing with us some of your life experience.
WOW! What a nice thing to say. Thank you SO much! 🙂