Do you ever wonder… ‘what might’ve been?’
It’s a fair question. And one I think almost everyone can answer ‘yes’ to. Is there value in wondering, pondering and maybe even grieving the ‘what might’ve been?’ For me? Absolutely!
Yesterday, a distantly familiar date rolled across the calendar. I almost missed it, but something called it to mind. Should I have remained married, it would have been my 19th wedding anniversary. NINETEEN! WHOA! That’s a LONG time. And as quickly as the anniversary date hit me, my mind began to drift to the ‘what might’ve beens.’
If I were still married…
…would I be a mother?
…would I still be living in Salt Lake City?
…would I be a principal, school district administrator, or maybe even an executive in a company?
…would I’d be keepin’ up with the Joneses’?
…would I have pets?
…would I be happy?
And as quickly as those thoughts traipsed through my mind, an unexplainable peace that passes understanding washed over me.
It doesn’t matter ‘what might’ve been’ because what IS is SO. MUCH. BETTER. than ANYTHING I had envisioned for my life during my formative years.
What is…
I am happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life.
No pets (due to travel) but a deep love for all things furry and a soft heart for any animal. Just ask my mom… I’m constantly sending her selfies with stray cats I coax into letting me cuddle them.
Definitely not keeping up with the Joneses’. Life isn’t about things. It’s about loving others well, experiences and living out the calling placed upon your life.
Living in South Texas, in a beautiful city the Lord divinely prepped and ordained just for me and for such a time as this. I can’t begin to tell you how Corpus Christi has been THE PERFECT place for healing.
No desire to be an administrator or executive. I LOVE LOVE LOVE what I do! I manage me and only me! And I work for a wonderful company who recognizes my value and treats me with the respect and the autonomy I desire.
Not a mother, and completely content in this season.
Do let yourself feel and grieve the ‘what might’ve beens,’ but don’t camp there too long. Embrace the WHAT IS of the present, reflect on how you’ve gotten thus far, and live expectantly for what’s to come! I promise, what you dream of, pales in comparison to what the Lord has planned for you!
My favorite part about getting older is being able to vividly trace the Lord’s hand in my life. I can ponder the ‘what might’ve beens’ all day, but HE KNEW exactly what and WHO I would need when my ‘what might have beens’ didn’t pan out. What about you? Can you also trace His hand? I’d love to hear how you are living in the present but not forgetting how you got here.
This is so good! It reminds me of two things:
1) The windshield of a vehicle is so much larger than the rear view mirror for a reason…it’s ok (and even healthy) to glance at the past, but so much more important to look to the future and the road ahead!
2) Ever tried to play volleyball with someone who won’t stay in their place? It can be bad for everyone! While we many times think we are in “our place”, it’s according to “our” plans, and not God’s plan. I’ve found that God’s plan ALWAYS centers around the harvest of souls to His Kingdom. Someone once said, “The best place to be in the Kingdom of God is in YOUR place.”
Such a great blog, Sara!
YES TO ALL!!!!! Thank you SO much Derek for your encouragement! It means a lot!!!!
Earlier this month would have been our 30th wedding anniversary. We split after 23 years. I am happily married now but I still thought about “what might have been”. My thoughts turned towards our boys as having divorced parents and having to make the decisions on where to be at holiday time and things like that. I hate that part for them. Even though they were both grown when we divorced it is very different than how they grew up.
(((Tracy))) It’s something we all think about for sure. I think that ultimately, we all end up exactly where we are supposed to be. It definitely makes things challenging during the holidays (when there are kids involved), but again, I feel in my bones that it all works itself out. So so happy that you are happily remarried! That makes my heart sing! <3