When my world fell apart, I was HUNGRY for ANY resources to help me cope. I had NO point of reference to deal with the extreme hurt and betrayal following infidelity. I was blowing through marriage books as fast as I could. One Saturday night at church, my pastor told us about a new book by Cindy Beall that just released, Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken, and shared a bit about her story. And HER story was MY story. I couldn’t get out of church fast enough to get to Mardel’s to pick up a copy. And I think I read it in just a few hours. FINALLY someone who knew EXACTLY the road I was walking, who didn’t sugarcoat it and offered practical suggestions to heal.
This past August Cindy released a 2nd book, Rebuilding A Marriage Better Than New, and I was THRILLED to serve on the launch team and to receive a pre-release copy. Even though I don’t have a marriage to rebuild, I value Cindy’s insight and share it with others as much as possible. It seems like on almost a weekly basis I get messages about a marriage that’s hurting or broken, and Cindy’s books are always the first reads I suggest.
If your marriage is hurting OR if you minister to couples with hurting marriages, here are three reasons you need to read Rebuilding A Marriage Better Than New (RAMBTN) as soon as possible.
1. Cindy’s marriage is healed and thriving!
What better person to take advice from? Cindy and Chris have BOTH put in HOURS of hard work to restore the broken places in their marriage. Throughout RAMBTN, Cindy shares anecdotes spanning the entire course of their marriage; the times leading up to her husband’s infidelity and the times after. She is an open book and shares the real and raw emotions she experienced. She addresses how to handle triggers, trust and expectations. For me these were the hardest things to overcome. Cindy provides biblical basis and reasoning for how you can become more than a conqueror and defeat these stumbling blocks so your marriage, too, can be healed and thrive.
2. Cindy counterbalances LIES with TRUTH.
This is, perhaps, one of my favorite parts of the book. As if the situation you are walking through isn’t bad enough, Satan digs the knife in DEEP and feeds you lie after lie. Lies that will keep your marriage from being healed and hold you hostage. Cindy addressed one particular lie I was fed over and over.
TRUTH: Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but I trust in the name of the Lord our God. Psalm 20:7
I put TWO LONG YEARS into restoration yet my marriage wasn’t saved. It was a risk for sure, but I definitely knew my steps were ordained by the Lord. Some people might say, “Well it didn’t pay off for you.” Ohhhhh contraire my dears! At the time I would have agreed with you, but because I put my trust in the Lord, He has redeemed my story a 1000 times over and I am happier now than ever before in my entire life!
Cindy addresses ALL of the lies Satan will feed you during a martial crisis. AND she provides the precise scripture to rebuke those lies along with real life scenarios PROVING His Word is true.
3. Cindy provides you with a step by step guide on what it takes to rebuild your marriage better than new.
I can honestly say Cindy was ordained by God to write this book. I hate so badly she was required to walk through immense heartache and trial, but God is using her and Chris in a mighty way. EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER in this book addresses an issue a couple in martial crisis will face. From expectation management, to doing the hard things, to living as a victim or victor, Cindy shares biblical truths for overcoming these obstacles and real life applications either within her own story or the story of others. Cindy will lead you down the path to restoration providing practical advice to move your relationship beyond the hurt and onward to healing.
In closing, here are a few of my favorite quotes from RAMBTN:
“The key to happiness is expectation management.”
“I truly believe forgiveness brings freedom. Show me a miserable person, and I will show you someone who is bitter and who has chosen not to forgive. “ (SO MUCH YES ON THIS ONE!!!!!)
“If God showed us a timeline of all the occurrences that would happen in our lives, we would most assuredly start hyperventilating and bargaining with him to reroute the path ahead of us. In no way, shape, or form would we ever think we could survive such difficult circumstances. Death of a loved one, infidelity by a spouse, the loss of every material possession we own. It’s more than our finite minds can even begin to fathom. And because of that, He doesn’t show us. Instead, He gives us the grace we need to get through things as they come.”
I beg you. If you marriage is hurting, please run get a copy of BOTH of Cindy’s books right now. Read them as quickly as possible and immediately begin to put actions into place to save your marriage. Cindy will give you the road map necessary to once again have a healthy and thriving marriage.
If you’ve read Cindy’s books, would you add anything to this post? I would love to hear your redemption story, whether it looks like mine OR your marriage was saved. Please share in the comments below.
From a male’s perspective: I read Cindy’s book Healing Your Marriage When Trust is Broken just a few weeks after I found out my wife was carrying on multiple adulterous relationships. I had already read several psychology based books, and wasn’t hearing what I needed. They mostly played the blame game by stating I wasn’t making enough deposits in a love bank, even though in the same paragraph they claimed the affairs weren’t my fault. I knew I had been making the deposits, but somehow she wasn’t acknowledging them. I knew the answers I sought should be biblically based, not psychology based. For me it was very difficult to believe that anyone’s situation was as bad as mine. It was easy to think that no one understood all my struggles. Then I read Cindy’s story and realized that things could always be worse. Her story of forgiveness and redemption will make your heart feel loved by God. You walk in her steps as she displays the love of Christ to those that hurt her the most. Reading this book was a turning point for me. I decided to stay in my marriage after reading this story. Unfortunately, after a year of hard work, counseling, and changing my behavior to be a better husband, my wife continued her adulterous affairs and our marriage has ended. But the message in this book WILL change your life and may save your marriage. Can’t wait to read the new book. May God continue to bless you, Cindy!